


I Only Loved You Once Never Twice

by daelisix



Series: Once/Twice Series [3]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 02:38:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14034336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daelisix/pseuds/daelisix
Summary: “I—I really regret everything. I should’ve—“ You squeezed your eyes tight as you try to tell yourself to get to the point. “Can you please not let me go? Can you please love me again?”





	1. Special Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ FIRST  
> * Once Is A Coincidence Twice Is Not  
> ** Once is Enough Twice is Too Much

“How was it?” he asked you with his usual big smile.

You went to the backstage right after their performance. They’re really finally getting some recognition now. Slowly but surely; getting there… at the top. Their schedule is getting busier, being filled with some guesting and interviews.

People around showered them with compliments while you just smiled softly at him. He somehow pouted and looked away. You caressed his cheek and made him face you. “It was stupendous” You smiled “No matter what you’ll do; I know you’d always do great.” Your hand, from his cheek, went to his hand, stroking the back of it softly for assurance. “Because you’ve always been and you’ll always be. I believe in you”

“Hey, Bob. I think I’m getting a toothache from too much sweetness here” You heard Jae commented at your back “Shall I go see a dentist?”

Brian threw his face towel to Jae “You need to see a psychiatrist”

You chortled as you remember when your friends found out about the two of you. It was three days after the night at the seaside promenade. They weren’t surprised as you thought they’d be.

“Oh. So you guys are a _thing_ now? Finally?” Jae queried when he saw Brian walked to meet you half way and held your hand to walk with you on your way to the usual tree.

Apparently, all of them knew how much Brian likes you. It was just you who were being stubborn to not believe it. But the thing is, it’s not really _official_. You both wanted to take it slow. Despite wanting to show the world that you got the man of your dreams, you somehow want to protect the friendship. You didn’t want to rush and ruin what you’ve built on the process. Besides, they’re really getting popular now. You don’t want to be showered by bashes and hate by his _fangirls_.

 

Few weeks before another school year starts. You’re in a fast food, standing at the counter waiting for costumers. You got yourself a summer job. Just when your thoughts wandered to what Brian is doing, you heard your co-worker giggled with another worker. From the corner of your eye, you saw her fixing herself so you turned to look at her. She was looking straight as her hands were busy tucking her hair behind her ear; pressing her lips together and brushing them with each other.

You know those gestures real well. _She’s gonna flirt with someone._ You shifted your gaze back in front when she greeted a customer, only to find a striking soul beaming at you. From having a deadpan face, your lips instantly curved to form a smile.

“Good afternoon, Sir.” You couldn’t conceal your happiness “May I take your order?”

“Yes, your heart, please” You felt your blood rush up to your cheeks as your heartbeat doubled. A scoffed from his back was heard “Oh, wait. I already have it”

You heard your workmate gasped beside you and it was followed by an ‘aw’ from the man in front of you. His head was hit by someone behind him.

“This is her workplace, stop flirting” Sungjin chided as he stepped forward to take Brian’s place. He instructed them to find a table as he orders. The boys obliged. Brian winked and mouthed ‘See you’ before he finally walked to find a spot.

“Was that guy your boyfriend?” asked your workmate after Sungjin left the counter with their food, with the help of Jae.

You turned your head and saw her hopeful eyes. This is one of those moments when you wish he really is. You couldn’t answer 'yes' because your relationship is not yet there; you couldn’t say 'no' because you don’t want to lift her hopes higher. You responded with a smile and thankfully, customers came in.

When your shift ended, you went straight to their table, not wanting to be bombarded with questions you can’t and _don’t_ want to answer.

“What are you guys talking about?” They turned their head to look at you and Brian instantly grinned at the sight of you. He moved to give you some space to sit beside him and when you did, his arm draped around your waist right away. You felt your cheeks heat up but fortunately, nobody noticed you blushing.

“We’re gonna take a break from school” Your eyebrows furrowed with what Sungjin has said.

“It’s kinda hard to balance everything” Dowoon added.

“But Brian’s gonna continue though” Jae remarked “He’s the _student model_ type of guy anyway. He can pull through it”

You shifted your gaze to Brian, turning your head to see him. He was already looking at you with a tight smile, arm still on your waist, he wrinkled his nose for a second.

A week after, your summer job ended. It was your last day yesterday so today’s a lazy day. You’re just lying on your bed with nothing to do when your phone vibrated. A notification from Instagram that Brian has posted a photo. No one knows you turned on the notification from him, not even your friend. It was a collage of his four selfies. _The weather is real nice. Do u want to go on a picnic with me?_ You silently read the caption. And just how fast you clicked the heart button, that’s how fast your phone vibrated for another notification.

**So u’re coming?**

You arched your brows with his message.

_**What?** _

**U’re coming on a picnic with me or not?**

You let out a soft chuckle and slightly shook your head.

 _ **Why are u asking me tho? Ask someone else. Ur question was for everybody anyway**_.

You raised a brow because of another notification with Brian mentioning you in a post. It was the same post, only that the caption was edited. It has now your Instagram username on it.

**Im asking u**

You replied with a smiley emoji and he sent few more messages you didn’t bother to answer and picked up Jae’s call instead. It was a video call. He was walking with Wonpil to a convenience store to buy some ramen and he asked you to come because Brian was sulking a bit. You planned on going anyway, you just want to surprise him a bit so you didn’t care opening your inbox on Instagram again.

You’re sauntering to where they at. You could already see them and you instantly smiled just by the view of him smiling. He positioned himself beside Sungjin and tried to lie down but just when Brian’s head was about to touch Sungjin’s leg, he brushed his head off away. You chuckled and shook your head thinking how Sungjin hates skinship. They were all laughing as you pace faster to them.

Your heart melted seeing Brian’s face glow when he saw you. He held your hand and guided you to sit on the mat carefully. As soon as you’re seated, he rested his head on your lap. He’s still holding your hand, he intertwined your fingers together and rested them on his chest. You unconsciously moved your other hand to softly stroke his hair. You saw his lips moved to form a small smile. He likes it.

You looked Sungjin who let out a small laugh saying how Brian wanted to lie down on his lap because you weren’t there. Jae was narrowing his eyes. He hates PDA and there were a couple of times that he really wanted to hit Brian for being so affectionate. You chortled softly as you looked down to see his angelic face only to find out he’s already fast asleep. You chuckled again.

“That’s one of Brian’s, a.k.a. Young K, the master of all trades, talents” Jae commented “Falling asleep anywhere so fast”

That’s true though. For almost a year of being close to him, you’ve witnessed him falling asleep with just a blink of an eye.

Few hours passed, he asked you for a walk.

"Yeah, go away lovebirds” Jae shooed you both away

“Let’s have dinner together, okay?” Wonpil yelled

You were walking hand in hand when your thoughts start to wander. _Is it better this way? It somehow doesn’t make a difference because we already seem like a couple. But I’m afraid if we’ll be official, I’ll start to ask for more; I’ll be selfish and greedy and I don’t want that. He’s already having a hard time with school and the band_.

“You okay?” You suddenly got back to your senses “Do you want to go back? Are you feeling sick?”

You smiled to assure him “No, I was just thinking about school"

He groaned “I’m jealous” You arched your brows “I’m with you, we’re even holding hands, but you’re thinking about school. Can't you think of me alone?”

You chuckled and you don’t know how much it affects him. It’s like a sweet harmony he wants to play on repeat.

“I’m always thinking of you though”

He just smiled and you both continued walking. You had a random chitchat when you stopped near the river. A few number of girls passed behind you but moments later, you heard a delicate voice saying ‘excuse me’.

You turned to face the owner of the voice only to see her cheeks as red as tomato, mouth agape, gazing dreamingly at Brian in front of her. She stuttered in asking if he’s _Young K_ and when he answered, she asked if they could take a picture with him.

Your jaw dropped when she handed you her phone. You blinked twice to recover and bit your lower lip. You took one for each of them, and they were three. And another three shots for group photos. You were biting your lower lip harder than before that you almost said ‘ouch’ aloud when Brian’s arm was on the girl’s shoulder. Fortunately you didn’t. You don’t want to show him you’re being jealous. Besides, it’s normal. Aren’t they being recognized slowly? Yes, this is normal.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself as you showed a tight smile when you handed the lady’s phone back to her. You felt your heart skipped a bit when Brian instantly draped his arm around your waist. When the ladies said their thanks again, he even pulled you closer to him before waving at them. They turned and whispered to each other. _I bet they’re asking each other if I’m his girlfriend._

You really want to take it slow. But being like this without a label is kinda frustrating. At times you'e contented, more than contented even. But at times like this, you get frustrated.

“Sorry about that”

You showed him a small smile and nodded “It’s fine.” You smiled again “It’s normal anyway. And I must really get used to it. You’ll be known by the world soon, and a sea of people would want to take a picture of you. Shall I apply to be your official photographer?”

He grinned and shook his head and pulled you closer again, kissing you at the top of your head. He hummed a song and swayed you for a bit.

You let out a comforting sigh and looked up to him “How do you even exist? I thought there’s nobody perfect in this world?”

He chortled and reached for your hands “I’m not perfect; just perfect for you.” He raised your right hand; the back of it met his lips. He softly caressed it as he put it back down, still not letting go of it.

You narrowed your eyes at him before you laughed and hit his chest with your other hand playfully. You wrinkled your nose as he let out a soft chuckle seeing you do his signature move.

“Seriously though…” You trailed off and lingered your gaze for a while at his image “Soon there will be countless of girls who’ll swoon over you”

He shrugged “Well, Bae starts with _B_ and so does Brian.” You cracked up at his remark “Doesn’t your name start with _M_?”

You knitted your brows together and gave him a querying look “What?”

“You’re _mine_ ”

It wasn’t a question but a statement of declaration. You just stood there; eyes locked with each other’s for what felt like forever until his gaze shifted a bit lower. You gulped knowing where he was looking. You felt his fingers move in your hand as he softly pressed it while leaning closer. It was the longest minute of your life, anticipating for something you know will happen. And it finally did. You slowly shut your eyes and felt butterflies flying wildly in your stomach as his soft lips brush with yours. It wasn’t that long. Neither too short. It was just right. Just right.

You felt shivers down your spine when you felt his soft breath as he slowly pulled away. His gaze instantly met yours. He caressed the back of your hand once again.

“You’re mine” he repeated.

You’re breathing became so uneven as you felt your heart pounding hardly to your chest as if it wanted to get out. You let out a breath as you slowly nodded. He pulled you into his arms for an embrace as he kissed the top of your head and whispered something that made your heart beat even crazier.

“I _love_ you”


	2. Special Chapter 2

“Lobster’s the goal, man. Lobster’s the dream” You furrowed your brows hearing your friend’s remark from the radio.

They really took a break from school and only Brian continued. A company took them and Jae also became a part of a radio and television talk show. You shook your head after hearing his obsession with lobster and turned to check Brian.

He was busy typing on his laptop; finishing his homework. You decided to stop streaming and put your earphones down. _I’ll probably just listen to the replay later or listen to (Your friend’s name) talk about it. She never misses Jae’s shows._

Brian was so indulged with what he’s doing and you couldn't help but smile. You just love how passionate he is and how good he is in balancing his life. Despite being busy with the band; being trained in a company, he never asked for an excuse nor special treatment in his classes. His grades are good—great even.

As he was busy with his own stuff, you were also busy adoring your man.

 _“You’re mine_ ”

His voice echoed in your head as you let your heart dissolve by the warmth that you feel. A smile instantly formed from your face. You raised your phone and went to Instagram to capture a moment of your day.

_So boyfie_

You snickered with your friend’s reply on your story.

_Ofc. He’s my boyfriend. ;)_

He’s a supportive and a proud one. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of you as he smiles while watching you doing the things you love and enjoy. He’d think about you always. He would watch a recorded video of you repeatedly and would never get tired of it. He would talk about how cute you are and boast you to his friends. He would even squeal because he couldn’t resist himself from doing so when you do something that he finds really cute.

You felt his eyes darted on you so you looked up to meet his gaze. He smiled and asked if you’re okay and apologized for making you sit doing nothing while he’s trying to finish his homework. You assured him you’re fine with it. In fact, quiet times like this with him give you contentment. You love seeing him doing things with passion. Although at times, you can’t help but be worried. He doesn’t seem like he’s getting enough rest that he should have.

Glancing at the time, you stood up to make him a cup of coffee but he captured your hand before you could even take a step.

“Where are you going?” His face etched with worry

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fast”

His forehead furrowed a bit “I’m coming with you”

You smiled and shook your head. You told him to continue with his homework but he’s stubborn. He doesn’t want to be away from you. At times, he’d just sit and stare at you for a couple of minutes. He could even do it for a couple of hours or maybe even for a whole day. Well, so are you.

When everything he needed to do was finished, Sungjin called and told him to go to the park to unwind. Jae was done with the radio show, too, so everyone were present at the park.

You could tell that Wonpil’s blissful about the picnic because you haven’t done it for a while since that day—when Brian officially called you his.

“Well, who knows…” you shrugged “Another couple might bloom after this” You eyed Jae and your friend. Brian supported your remark and the rest started teasing both of them. The latter, as usual, started roasting each other though.

There were some people who took photos from afar. _Oh, they were recognized, huh?_ Some people even tried to come closer. There was even a family, with a baby, near your spot that keeps on looking at the guys. You chuckled when Brian imitated the baby. You low key wanted him to do it again so you could record it because he was just so cute. But you kept mum about it.

You were all catching up with each other. Not seeing them as often as you used to made you miss them. That’s why even being friends with them, you watch and listen to their shows.

As days, weeks and months passed, your worries grew. They became busier; making songs for their debut album; practicing; busking; and Brian with school, too. You’d sometimes tell him to rest instead of going on a date but he doesn’t want you to feel neglected. So despite how busy he is, he always makes time for you.

_This is bad._

You felt guilty. This is one of the reasons why you hesitated before. You didn’t want to be greedy and you didn’t want him to feel obligated and responsible to spend time with you because you’re his girlfriend. It was tough when they started and it became more grueling now that they’ll be having their debut.

Sometimes you'd ask him for a break— _not a break up;_ just let him focus with the band more and of course his school. Especially that midterm exams are approaching. He makes you feel loved more than enough so you trust him; you trust him so much to ask for a _cool off_ —a positive kind of one though. You tried to make him understand that he needs it. You’re already contented of how he kept you a priority but you’re just too worried about him.

You fought about it. He didn’t want to. He doesn’t need that, he said. He couldn’t understand why you’d ask for it. He felt like he did something wrong or if he made you feel neglected. You tried to clarify it to him that nothing’s wrong. You just want him to have more time for himself; to rest. But he couldn’t have that if he has you. Because you know how he’d sacrifice even a short rest just to make you feel loved.

“Am I loving you too much?”

You felt your chest tighten and your breathing hitched with his query. You let out a sigh of frustration. You didn’t want it to be this way. You meant good but it went out of hand. You just wanted a short break not a break up. But with you beside him, things will be harder for him or maybe even might be burdensome.

“Brian, why don’t—“

“Answer me,” You swallowed the lump in your throat when you see a glint of tears in his eyes “am I loving you too much?” His voice cracked and your tear dropped.

“Yes!” you exclaimed “Yes, you’re loving me too much! Too. Damn. Much!”

His grip on your arm loosened and it dropped. He exhaled as he looked away before he squeezed his eyes close and tighten his lips.

You were shocked with your own words. You didn’t mean it. This is not what you wanted. But instead of taking every word you uttered back, you spoke more words that seemed like swords stabbing his heart and yours.

“It’s suffocating, Brian. This is not love anymore! This is obsession”

You bit your lip immediately to stop yourself from withdrawing those swords. _I’m sorry, Bri. I’m sorry but you need this_. You know he loves you. You know it’s not obsession. And no, you’re not suffocated.

He was dumbfounded. He never expected those words to come from you. He never even thought you’ll be in this kind of situation. He’s so good in writing lyrics; thinking of words to convey the feelings, but he couldn’t seem to find the words to prevent you from voicing out the words that are the last thing that he wants to hear; the words that he never ever wants to hear from you but he did.

“Let’s break up”

He wanted to stop you from leaving but he was so dumbstruck. He was on his knees as tears run down his face. You immediately turned your back to preclude yourself from hugging him.

You don’t know how you ended up on your bed when your knees were so weak; you thought you couldn’t even take a single step.

You thought of what happened earlier and it sunk in to you. _We broke up_. You regret it so much. How did it end up like this? You cried river of tears for days. Your energy was sapped by your misery. Your room was suffused with sobs and wailing as you reminded yourself: _I just wanted a break, not a break up_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, don't fight me bc of this xD it wouldn't just leave my mind; I was on a bus on my way home when Congratulations, How Can I Say, Letting Go and You Were Beautiful played consecutively that it made me think of these scenes. I even teared up.
> 
> Uhm, thoughts? Pls let me know :")


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you really not gonna continue for the next semester?” Your friend questioned

You sighed and looked away “I told you for the  _nth_ time, I’m not”

The last semester has been tough. Brian did every single thing he could just to talk to you and you did every single thing to avoid him. You even skipped some classes or would come in late every time you see him waiting in front of your classroom’s door; you’d hide at the back of your classmates when leaving the room after class if he’s outside, waiting for you to come out; you never answered his calls and text messages neither his friends’; you’d always pretend to be not in your dorm when you’re actually just laying on your bed trying to contain all the tears and pain.

“But did you really have to deactivate your social media accounts and change your number?” she exhaled a sharp breath “What the hell?”

“He needs this, okay?”

“He doesn’t” Her eyes darted to yours and even if you wanted to look away, you couldn’t “He told you, he doesn’t need this.”

“He does.” You insisted “Maybe he couldn’t see it for now but someday he will. And he might even thank me for this. He does great in everything and I might just drag him down. I don’t want him to fail because of me.”

She’s staring you intently, trying to read your eyes. You kind of felt uncomfortable and nervous.

“He does great in everything” She spoke while slowly nodding “And he does best in music… And loving you”

Your chest tightened. You blinked twice while slowly letting out a breath. You had a hard time swallowing because your throat got dry.

“Was his best not enough?” She smirked “Oh yeah… His best was  _too much_ ” She raised an eyebrow as you pressed your lips together, forming a thin line.

You looked away “I should get back to work.” You excused as you stood up to walk toward the counter. Even if you hadn’t seen it, you’re sure she rolled her eyes.

After the last semester ended, you looked for a job and here you are now: at a coffee shop not too near from school neither too far. And yes, you’re gonna have a break from school, too, and work for a while to save up some money. But who are you fooling? Not anyone but yourself. You’re trying to convince yourself that you’re doing it for the said reason but you know deep inside, you’re doing this to avoid Brian.

Did you really have to go that far? Well, you could go back anyway. Having a break for a semester or two wouldn’t hurt right?

Every single day is a blur. The only thing you could remember is your friend going to your work place from time to time to nag at you during your break. Nothing much changed since your breakup. Oh how you hate that word. And even if you don’t want to think about it, someone is making you. You don’t know if it’s fortunately or not that your workmate is a fan of them; and she doesn’t know you’re friends with them.

“And you know I heard they’re gonna have their debut real real soon.” You sighed and gave her a small smile “They’re already quite known here because of their gigs, guesting and busking. And I’m really happy that finally they’re gonna have their debut”

You already lost count on how many times you’ve heard it from her. She really likes them. But somehow you’re wondering why it was delayed.  _Did they have a problem while making their album?_ Or maybe it’s not really delayed but you were just expecting it to happen sooner. You don’t know. And you don’t want to ask.

Your eyes widened and you froze when you saw a familiar figure approaching; he seemed oblivious with his phone held against his ear, talking to someone. When he’s finally in front of the counter, his eyes widened, mouth agape. You both blinked several times, both in shock. Your workmate seemed to be surprised, too. Seeing one of the members of the band that she really likes in front of her.

“J-Jae…”

He once again blinked before saying your name. You heard your workmate gasped. You felt her gaze shifted from you to Jae then from Jae to you. You glanced behind him and he also looked behind over his shoulder.

“He’s… He’s not with me”

You cleared your throat, still feeling your workmate’s gaze, before you looked at him again. “W-why are you here?” Your brows furrowed “You don’t really drink coffee. Strawberry Cream Tea?”

“I actually need coffee today”

“Americano then?”

He nodded. Your heart beat is raising and your hands were shaking. Fortunately your workmate was the one who made his order. You didn’t really want to talk to any of them; afraid that they may be mad at you and because you don’t know what you’d feel and say. But then, you found yourself asking your workmate to let you off the counter for a bit and now, you’re standing beside Jae’s table.

“J-Jae…” you hesitantly took the seat when he offered. He looked at your eyes and he seemed to know what you want.

“I’m not gonna tell him” You heaved a sigh of relief “If you tell me everything. You didn’t even answer our calls. You—you just disappeared like bubble. Man, how could you?”

You cupped your face with your hands, trying to calm down and compose yourself. When you have mustered the strength to speak, you told him everything.

“What?!” You closed your eyes, preventing a single tear to escape “That’s ridiculous, man. You—“

“Jae, please…” You bit your lower lip before continuing “I already had enough earful from (Your friend’s name).”

It was a full minute of silence. You just want to disappear from his sight right now. And the last thing you heard from him was “Don’t make dumb mistakes that you’re gonna regret later in life” before you went back to work.

As if your energy hasn’t yet depleted, your workmate bombarded you with questions.

“You knew each other? You’re friends? I never expected. I—I’m so speechless! I didn’t even manage to get a single photo because I was dumbstruck. You—You always seemed to be uninterested when I talk about them.” She took a pause and seemed like thinking before she gasped and grabbed your arm “So that’s why you have a studio version of Eyeless that no one else has and that’s why you wouldn’t send it to me! And Jae doesn’t drink much coffee? You’re friends with them! Oh my gosh! Please let me meet them! Please”

You massaged your temple and took your arm away from her grip. She spoke so fast and you’re just too tired to answer.

Every single day at work, she would bother you about it. Today is not an exception. You were so thankful when a costumer came but gasped in surprise when you saw who it was; he called out your name with a big smile on his face.

“My favorite cousin!” He exclaimed, spreading his arms. You instantly grinned.

You talked to catch up with each other after your work. You missed him so much since it’s been 2 years that you last saw each other.

“Let’s have dinner tomorrow?” He asked as he put an arm around your shoulder. You’re both walking to the bus stop to head home; you to your dorm and he to his friend’s house. “Well, that is if you don’t have a date with your boyfriend”

“I don’t have a boyfriend”

He halt from walking and made you face him. His forehead wrinkled. “What do you mean you don’t have a boyfriend? You broke up? He hurt you?”

You sighed. “It’s a long story and I don’t really wanna talk about it now”

He bit his lower lip, hands on his waist, as he nodded “Alright. Just tell me when you’re ready” He put his arm on your shoulder again and continued walking.

You’re gonna ride a different bus so he’s leaving first. He hugged you before going in and kissed you on your forehead. You felt your heart stopped when you remembered a certain person.

“Take care, okay? I love you!” he exclaimed before finally riding the bus.

You laughed as you shooed him away “I love you, too. See you tomorrow!” Your grin slowly faded when you turned to your left.

Eyes were darted on you; sad and in pain. Your mouth agape, ready to call him, when he turned and walked away.

“Finally!” your workmate exclaimed one day “Their MV from their debut album will be released tonight and they’ll gonna have a First Mini-album Concert! Are you coming?”

“I don’t know”

It’s been two weeks since that eyes that were in pain laid on you.  _Why didn’t I call him? Why didn’t I—_ you sighed and stood up to open your laptop. Your day was tiring, especially when you have a workmate who keeps on bugging you about your ex’s band, and now you’re going to get yourself be more drained.

You let out a shaking breath as you clicked to play their first ever MV.  
  
 _Now you won’t even pick up my calls_  
 _Instead of you, I hear a dull voice_  
There are always hard days  
But you can’t win over that moment and you look for an alternative

As soon Jae started singing, you felt a pang in your chest. Your breathing became heavy and your chest seemed tight. Jae’s voice was so sad. His eyes were conveying the song’s emotion. You never thought this was going to be a sad song.

 _Let’s take some time_  
 _When I heard that_  
I understood it exactly as it sounded  
That we should take some time

It’s getting more and more painful and even harder to breathe. You let out a heavy breath when Sungjin sang his first part. You gasped when the couple in the MV were eating ramen.  _That’s his favorite!_ You remembered how he wants egg for his ramen after the ramen has been cooked.Tears gathered in your eyes. You pressed your lips together when the guy was playing the guitar.  _He always wanted to play the guitar and not the bass._

 _Congratulations, you’re so amazing_  
 _Congratulations, how could you be so fine?_  
How could you trample on me?  
I see your smiling face, I guess you forgot everything

As much as you wanted to stop your tears from falling, they already fell. His part was the chorus. You felt how sarcastic the song is.  _Congratulations._  You even thought it was a happy song but this is really a heartbreaking one.

 _When you said let’s take some time_  
 _When you said let’s think about it_  
You looked into my eyes and made me believe you  
Like this

While the couple’s memories flashed on the MV, memories of you and Brian flashed in your mind, too. The random kisses and now there’s Chopper hat.  _Is that the one I gave him?_ How you miss those days, watching One Piece together is a must in your weekly schedule. You both love that anime so much.

Your eyes were already clouded up with tears. Your shoulders are moving up and down as you try to catch some to breathe. You were busy wiping your tears away but when the chorus came again, they were falling non-stop like a waterfall.

Then it hit you… Did he misunderstand–that night with your cousin at the bus stop? Does he think you cheated on him? Or is he thinking that you already found a new man?

You don’t want to over think that this song is for you but it explains your situation with him right now; even the music video screamed memories of you.

And never in your whole life that you thought you’d cry to someone’s rap but there you are clutching your chest while trying not to cry even more even if you know it’s impossible; especially that  _he’s_  the one rapping.

 _Seriously wow girl congratulations_  
 _It didn’t take you long, you’re such a hotshot_  
Huh, I saw your picture on the Internet  
Are you that happy? Your smile goes up to your ears  
For me, my heart still hurts every time I breathe  
But it’s good that you’ll never be in pain  
Because even if you break up with him  
You’ll just start a new love again

Your room is filled with wails and bawls. You cried till you fell asleep and the last thing you remembered was asking yourself about what you have done and telling yourself  _“Seriously, wow self… Congratulations”_

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: It would be nice if you could play Letting Go later. (You'll know when to play it. Hehe)

“So have you seen it? Did you watch?” You feel lethargic from crying until you fell asleep last night and now you have to deal with your workmate who won’t just stop bugging you when it comes to their band.

“Yeah…”

“Really?!” She then proceeded to tell how she felt while watching the music video; how she felt the pain that was conveyed through the song; how she cried because the song was telling a story “And have you heard their other songs from the album?” You shook your head and she made you sit and gave you her phone. She plugged her earphones in your ears and clicked something on her phone before she left you in the dressing room.

You heaved a sigh of surrender as the song started playing. _Oh, this one seems a lively song._ You were moving your head trying to go with the song’s rhythm as you were listening to the lyrics.

 _It’s been a while since you left_  
 _But even when you weren’t here_  
I always had you by my side  
I put my hand in my pocket so you can always link your arms with mine  
Why are you making me like this? (Why did you do that babe)

You arched your forehead as you realized that the message is still sad despite its lively vibe. You bit your lip as you started to feel your chest tighten again. And you thought your heart stopped when you heard him sing the next part

_Every day is the same, I’m running around a wheel_   
_I really hope this feeling changes  
Not having what you want makes your heart hurt, I’m only human_

You squeezed your eyes close as you try not to play a movie of your memories in your head again. _I’ve had enough last night. Please._

_I guess this is what they call a habit_   
_In an empty room with no one inside  
I’m waiting for you to return_

But nothing really goes the way you wanted them to be. Not before, not now. Tears started to well up in your eyes. Never in your whole life that you’ve imagined yourself crying because of a song that doesn’t even have a sentimental sound. _But the lyrics!_

_My hand habits that touched you, my hand habits toward you_   
_My mouth habits that called you, my mouth habits for you_

You just want to slap yourself from crying again. Aren’t you tired of crying every single time that you are reminded of him? It’s been 5 months, hasn’t it? But it still hurts the same. Why didn’t it go the way you wanted it to be?

 _I’m calling out to you in the empty air_  
I’m beckoning to find you  
You became my habit  
Became my habit

And it’s so hard, knowing that he’s also a habit and habits are hard to give up.

_Became my habit_

You hurriedly wiped your tears when you heard the door open. And once again, you were attacked by numerous questions. Your workmate even teased you for crying in Habits. “You can relate to the song so much, don’t you?”

As things started to change for them, things stayed the same for you. After another 5 months, you’re still working at the coffee shop; stuck with your workmate who’d always talk about someone you don’t even want to remember. When your working schedule changes, those are the times that you were thankful for. At least your ears would be able to rest from hearing anything about _him._ But unfortunately, your new shift is being with the said workmate again. You really have nothing against her. It’s just that, you just don’t want to add salt to your wound.

It’s been 10 months since the breakup but you’re still hurting. Even if you want to convince yourself that you’re already numb from feeling the pain and regret, you’re still hurting.

No one’s really numb anyway. People can’t just accept the fact that after all this time; they’re still hurting for the same reason. And you’re not an exception.

Sometimes you’re being eaten up by your jealousy; seeing him being close with a girl and especially if their fans are trying to pair them up. Somehow you’ve learned not to mind the fans who swoon over him but you can’t just deny the fact that when it comes to this girl, _Ayeon_ , you couldn’t restrain yourself from getting jealous. She seems to be close with the band because she’s a friend of Jae. Eventually, fans saw that she and Brian have a chemistry. _Who cares about chemistry?_

You trusted Brian so much to ask for that break but now you don’t know if you’d be able to still trust his feelings for you since it didn’t really go how you wanted it to be. And when another album was released, your world started to shake and slowly crumble. _Is this it?_

_I got something to say, let’s meet up_   
_Now we sit silent, facing each other_   
_I keep thinking in my head_   
_Should I say this or not_   
_Although I don’t want to_

You exhaled softly as Jae started singing. Just as they’re having their comeback, your feelings are having one, too. You felt a familiar sensation enveloped your heart. _Oh, yeah. This is what I felt when I was watching their Congratulations MV._ Jae still has those eyes full of sentiment.

_I’d been holding on to you for so long_   
_But now I must let go_   
_There’s nothing I can do for you_   
_It’s the only way to make you happy_   
_So I let go, let go, let go_

Is this a confession of him letting you go? Is this him telling you that he’s finally ready to stop holding on to you?

_So you can smile someday_   
_So you can smile_

But what if letting you go isn’t the reason for you to be able to smile someday?

_I remember our good times_   
_The days of laughter and fun_   
_Memories ever so precious_   
_Fill up inside me_   
_Although I don’t want to_

As he started singing, as he was intoning about your memories, a series of them played in your head. And just when you thought you’ve already shed more than enough tears that you’re supposed to, another stream of tears was shed.

If Jae’s eyes were sentimental, Brian’s were intense. As he started rapping, you intently looked at him. He was giving off the same vibe as he did in Congratulations. Eyes were narrow; forehead furrowed; veins on his neck were visible. Although it is about telling you he’ll let you go, he seemed to be livid.

_Ah let go, let go,_   
_The bright future we sought together_   
_I know I know we can no longer_   
_Wish for a happy ending_   
_Like the land hardens after the rain_   
_Pain is only temporary, someday you will meet_   
_Someone who can make you happier_   
_That’s the kind of love you deserve_   
_I got to say good bye right now_

You wanted to pat your shoulder for making it to work the next morning. But your eyes wouldn’t just let you hide the fact that you cried yourself to sleep last night. You readied yourself to deal with your perky workmate today but she’s awfully quiet. She didn’t bother you about the comeback, the new music video, anything regarding the band but she kept on stealing glances.

“Are you okay?” She asked you in the dressing room when both of your shift ended. You answered with a nod and a small smile.

You examined her as she was standing near you. “You seem hesitant about something. Is there something you want to tell me?”

She avoided gazes and you motioned her to sit beside you. “Actually…” she trailed off as you encouraged her to continue “Young K was here yesterday”

Your eyes widened a bit. Yesterday was both your day off but she said she went to the coffee shop to have a coffee with her friend. That’s when he saw Brian entering the place.

“He seemed to be looking around. Like… trying to find someone?” She paused and looked at you for a hint to stop or to continue “Aren’t you friends with them? I think he was looking for you”

“Did you talk? Did you tell him?”

She shook her head. “Can I ask you something?” You nodded “You seemed to be crying a lot since the day I met you, especially when it comes to their songs. And you seem to not like their band to be talked about. I was thinking if you cried again last night when their new music video was released?”

You raised a brow and she cleared her throat. “By any chance… Did you have a past relationship that you’re reminded of every time you listen to their songs?” Your eyes widened in surprise and you were taken aback by her question “Perhaps… Is it Young K?”

Was it that obvious? Or was she just observant and wise? She murmured her apologies for asking and excused herself. But before she could even turn around, you grabbed her wrist as you let out a breath.

You’re just tired; tired of walking away from it; tired of pretending not to care; tired of putting up a mask that you’re okay. So for the first time, you opened the door for her to see and know. You told her everything, letting you cry your heart out and hugged you when you have no words left to say.

“I understand”, she whispered as she wrapped you in her arms, not minding if her shoulder will be soaked by your tears.

That’s all you wanted to hear. All this time, for 10 months, that’s all what you needed. Finally, there’s someone who understands you. If you had known, you might just have opened up to her sooner.

You both fixed yourself after a little while so you can both leave from your workplace. You were thinking about him as you opened the dressing room’s door to leave; wondering if he knows you’re working there. As if on cue, you found him walking toward the entrance as you froze and forgot what move means.


	5. Special Chapter 5

“Success is the best revenge. Because they see you climbing up the ranks and they’re like _‘Oh, I messed up’_ ” You clenched your jaw as you were listening to that familiar voice on the radio when your workmate suddenly turned it off.

 

Things between the both of you changed since you opened up to her. She even helped you hide when you saw Brian approaching the coffee shop few months ago. Just how she used to talk about them always, she’s now helping you ease the pain by making you go back to your senses when you’re starting to be drifted away by the stream of feels you’re having. And one of those is turning off the radio when Jae made you think their success right now is kind of a revenge for you.

 

Other times she’d grab your phone away from you when she catches you reading some theories and opinions from fans. A lot is blaming you, hate you for hurting Brian. Others thank you because whatever happened, it’s thanks to you that Brian gets to write these beautiful songs; even if they’re mostly painful. But the thing is, they don’t actually know that the “ex-girlfriend” that they always talk about exists. Some even talk about how you might be regretting right now for leaving him.

 

 _You all don’t know what happened. You all don’t know the reason why we broke up. I never wanted to break up!_ You felt a pat on your shoulder which made you look up.

 

“You’re thinking about what the fans are talking about again, aren’t you?”

 

With another comeback, not to mention that this one’s not like any other, more _theories_ and opinions raised up. The year has just started and they came back with a project which is to release two songs every month for the whole year.

 

And for the first title track that they released few days ago, another breakup topic raised. Talking about how confused the band was. Saying congratulations to an ex for leaving, saying they’ll finally let go and now they found themselves still waiting in the same place, waiting for the girl to hold their hand but then still wanting to let go despite all of the memories are frozen in them. But of course, most of these questions and topics refer to Brian.

 

 _Regret, huh?_ Of course you regret not being by his side. But knowing they’re having a project like this made you think that what you did is right. If they were busy before, they’re much busier right now. You can’t help but think and be worried if he can still manage to balance his time and if he can still study for exams or does he stay up night before them.

 

But that belief of being able to accept your situation right now dimmed seeing Ayeon sitting next to Brian. He smiles a lot. And his eyes seem to be soft. _Unlike when he was singing Congratulations and Letting Go._ His smile doesn’t wear off his face when talking to her. _But he’s just like that to everyone._

 

You wanted to smack yourself because you kept on quarrelling with your mind—like you want to justify every action he does; like you want to convince yourself there’s nothing to be jealous of. And you wanted to at least murmur your thanks because he talks more to the radio host than to the girl beside him. But suddenly, you wanted to whack your laptop’s monitor when they whispered to each other. So close!

 

You bit your lip when they’re about to sing together. She really has a nice voice and she’s really pretty. You were somehow fine at first but when he faced her while she was singing, you wanted to make a portal on the screen and stand between them. He even bit his lower lip! _What the hell?!_

 

The song was about the ‘shouldn’t have’s’ of a guy to a girl; the misleading actions and keeping the hopes up. _Typical Brian_. Then it made you wonder if Ayeon was thinking about Brian while singing this. Are they on this page?

 

_Stop closing your eyes while she’s singing for Pete’s sake!_

 

_~~(a/n: listen to You Were Beautiful)~~ _

 

You found yourself waiting for midnight after a few weeks. You refreshed the YouTube when the clock stroke 12 AM. Your fingers were trembling when you clicked play. Your heart danced together to the rhythm of the guitar.

 

_What I’m saying right now_

_Doesn’t mean that we’re starting up again_

_I’m just bringing back_

_The remaining memories of you_

 

Jae’s eyes were the same; sentimental as always. Your chest squinched up as you furrowed your brows. _Is this the same girl?_ Your hands were cold as ice and your heart was hot by being compressed so tight. _This is about memories again?_

 

You exhaled sharply when the next thing you saw was his face and next thing you heard was his voice; with a different kind of feels.

 

_Without missing a single day_

_You told me that you love me_

_Before I went to bed_

_As soon as I opened my eyes_

_You told me_

_I remember so I’m just saying_

 

Your lips quivered; tears trailed down your face. Your skin became rough and small bumps appeared. His melancholic voice sent shivers down your spine. His face was peaceful; different from their past music videos.

 

_Is this finally it?_

 

_You were pretty_

_Your eyes that looked at me_

_Your voice that called out to me_

_Everything, everything_

_To me, everything about you_

 

 _Is this really the same girl? Or they just look so much alike?_ You were starting to feel more nervous. _What if it’s connected with Congratulations?_ Wonpil and Sungjin’s expression didn’t help either; even Dowoon’s. They all look sentimental.

 

_You were pretty_

_The feeling of not wanting anything more_

_Moments that only you gave_

_Everything, everything_

_Everything has passed_

_But you were so pretty_

 

 _What the hell, Bob?! Stop singing!_ You covered your mouth and nose with both hands, trying to preclude any noise to come out from your mouth. You clutched your chest as your breathing became heavier.

 

 _It’s really her, isn’t it?!_ You tried to inhale some air for you couldn’t seem to breathe anymore. When the scene changed into the girl being inside a Karaoke room, you became sure that it’s really her. This one even came from the Congratulations MV. _Seriously, what’s happening?_

 

When Brian sang a part again, the guy from Congratulations finally made his appearance on the new music video. Still, the clip was from the former MV. You couldn’t restrain your cries anymore that you even let out a scream of pain. You didn’t mind if people will hear you crying at midnight.

 

There’s the guitar, the ramen and the Chopper hat again. He looked really peaceful. Does this mean he’s already over you? _Is this his way of telling me he has finally moved on? Is this his way of telling me that he doesn’t feel pain from our memories anymore but only see them as a beautiful reminiscence? Is this really the end now?_

 

_I still think of you sometimes_

_Should I call you up?_

_There were a lot of times I thought that but_

_Baby I know it’s already over_

 

You wanted to cuss at Jae. How dare he answer the question in your head? _D*mn! It’s really over now? Is it? Can I please take them all back? It’s almost 2 years now, is it already too late?_ You kept on wondering and asking yourself; if you pull those swords that you’ve stabbed, will you be able to heal and close all the wounds that you’ve caused?

 

You cried for an hour before checking their fans’ reaction. All of them were emotional, too. A lot of people also cried like you but no one could ever feel the same pain as what you’re feeling right now.

 

But there were people talking about them being confused as they always are (talking about the message of their songs). They were talking about the side track, so you then proceeded to search for it; as if you’re not yet hurting enough. Just how much do you love to torture yourself?

 

_~~(a/n: Listen to I Would/It Would Have Been)~~ _

 

It took you by surprise when he was the one who sang the first part. And it was even about saying sorry. The title track was like telling you you’re just a memory but this one is like telling you if he could still hold you even for just a day.

 

_Does he want to see and hold me for one last time before he could finally let me go? Is this what he’s asking for?_

 

You bit your lip when a phrase made your remember the day that he was on his knees, with tears strolling down his face, as you walk away from him not even looking back.

 

_When you were leaving me_

_I shouldn’t have let you go_

 

All these ‘would have’s’ made you run to a place of your memories in the middle of the night. What are you even doing? Are you already out of your mind? Who in their right mind would run at midnight crying just to go that memorable place? It’s not like you’re going to see him there waiting for you anyway. It’s midnight.

 

But you couldn’t just care less anymore. You want everything back. You want him back.

 

You just stood at the seaside promenade, facing at the bay. You can still remember every detail that happened that night. When he held your wrist and told you to stay, his soft gazes, the feeling of having his arms wrapped around you, his mushy lips on your head; all of it.

 

As you were reminiscing every remnant of memories with him, you suddenly stiffened. Your heartbeat increased in speed. You slowly exhaled a soft breath. You didn’t bother turning back but you knew for sure, he’s there.

 

Moments after, warm arms enveloped you from behind. A head snuggled on your shoulder as you slowly closed your eyes to let yourself be engulfed in his warmth. No one bothered to speak.

 

As your heart finally had its speed in constant when it found a familiar comfort from the man enclosing you in his arms, you gathered some strength to utter things you wanted to tell him. But before you could even speak, you heard him whisper “Finally”.

 

Turned out that every time they release a song, he’d always go to this place hoping to see you and hold you tight. But of course you didn’t know. _Finally what? Finally you held me once more and then you’ll finally be able to let me go?_ You bit your lip as you remember the lyrics of their side track for this month. You swallowed and let out a soft breath.

 

“I’m—I’m sorry, Bri.” A breath escaped from your mouth once again “I—I really regret everything. I should’ve—“ You squeezed your eyes tight as you try to tell yourself to get to the point. “Can you please not let me go? Can you please love me again?”

 

Your heartbeat started to rise again as you anticipate his answer. It was a minute of silence; a minute of torture.

 

“I only loved you once, it’s never gonna be twice”

 

You felt your world crumble. From that very instant, you wanted to vanish or turn into stone to not feel this extreme pain you’re feeling right now.

 

Then what is this? Why is he hugging you? Is this just another misleading action? Is this just to console you because he’s going to let you go after this? Is this just what the song has said—that he got to let go but he wants to go back even just for one more time?

 

You cluster some energy together to raise your hand and pull his arms away but he held you tighter. You wanted to slap him so bad. How could he? He’s not even going to love you again but he’s doing this.

 

You shut your eyes and a tear escaped. You felt his breath as he felt your tear.

 

“Because the moment I loved you, I never stopped and I don’t think I’ll be able to” You flipped your eyes open when he started speaking again “It only grows stronger each day even when you were away. So I cannot love you again because I have always been loving you. And all I can do is just to love you more”

 

Your shoulders were shaking as you began to sob. You felt him squeezed you tighter to his embrace. What did you ever do to deserve him? What did you ever do to be loved by him? What did you ever do for him to still love you even if you left and hurt him? You cannot be thankful enough to have him. Words cannot express how much you are grateful right now.

 

“I’m sorry” You hiccupped “I’m sorry—“ He shushed you and made you face him. You shook your head as his gaze laid on you “I just wanted to—“

 

“I understand”

 

With mouth agape, you stared into his eyes. ‘I understand.’ You finally heard it.

 

“But a break isn’t what I need; being away from you is not the answer” He started wiping your tears “What I need is your lap for my head to rest on when I’m tired; your voice to fill my ears to comfort my soul that no music nor anyone else’s voice could do; your shoulder for me to lean on when I’m feeling weak; your hands to push me forward when I feel like giving up; your eyes that convey your thoughts that you believe in me; your lips to utter words that I need to hear; your arms to wrap around me when I feel alone; your feet to take every step with me in this journey; and your heart that loves me like no one else does.”

 

He pulled you to his embrace and you let your heart cry out. You wanted to mentally grab your hair and slap your face for being so stupid to leave him. It’s been tough for him and during those times, you weren’t beside him. It was you who he needed the most but it was you whom he couldn’t hold close.

 

You were murmuring your apologies as you were snuggling on his chest when he pulled away and tilted your head for you to meet his eyes.

 

“If you’re truly sorry, I need you to do this one thing. I don’t just want you to promise this but to actually do this”

 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you hastily nodded your head. Another batch of tears fell down your face as you tried to let your gaze stay on his eyes.

 

“Walk with me until the end”, he said softly; eyes were hopeful.

 

Finally, you smiled genuinely. You slowly nodded and your smile grew wider when you saw him heaved a sigh of relief. His eyes glittered as he beamed.

 

To guarantee it, he sealed that commitment with locking his lips with yours. You smiled as you felt like melting. This is where you belong; this is home and you’re finally back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU COULD CONTINUE TO READ THE NOTE :) MUCH LOVE
> 
> So it’s finally over :)
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for being with me in this journey. Lol.
> 
>  
> 
> I never actually planned on writing imagines—I used to write stories but since I never really believed in myself and I’m just good with starting and bad with finishing things, I stopped. And I never ever really wrote a reader x artist kind of story.
> 
>  
> 
> As I’ve said before, this was kind of outburst of emotion because a mutual and I were like ‘attacking’ each other with tweets of what would Brian say if he caught you looking.
> 
>  
> 
> Days before that happened, I tried to read some fanfics but I never really got the “feeling” that the character was Brian, Jae or whoever it was because it felt like it’s a different person. Then I saw this mutual tweet something like that, too. So it made me really want to write the scenes that’s been playing in my head since our youngest sister also told me the day before that to write stories again (because she was my first reader before)
> 
>  
> 
> So the reason why there are chapters 1 & 2 and 5 special chapters is because I only planned on writing only one and that’s the Once is a coincidence, twice is not ; because it somehow came from experience, too.
> 
>  
> 
> But then since I wrote the story as I tried to make Brian’s character stay, some friends (and myself) feel attacked when Day6, especially Brian, drops something. Example, the “mwa” and the picnic scene. It made us think about the FF because as they’ve said, they could feel that it was really Brian.
> 
>  
> 
> That made me write another chapter. And I thought of stopping there. But… every time I take the bus and listen to Day6 songs, scenes would flash in my mind—the chapters were sweet, it needs a conflict. So the first chapter was still sweet, I made them official couple but the next chapter I made them breakup. Lol. So I said Im gonna stop at Special Chapter 3 because I already have the ending in mind--but I wanna use the Letting Go and I Would/It Would Have Been songs; and as you can see I made them Im Serious song and unreleased one just like the eyeless; making them sing it on the chapter 2 (was it chapter 2?) but then after almost 2 years, "every day6 project" happened.
> 
>  
> 
> As you can see there are a lot of plot holes, too. And this plot is so overused, simple girl and a popular guy; but I just wanted to make it feel like they are really them that I even used Jae’s exact lines (lobster, success and dumb mistakes lines--they were from Monday Music Access with Bernard), also I even used some scenes that happened irl and Bran’s hashtag from IG #walkwithmeuntiltheend. Sorry also for making the special chapters 2-5 emotional; did I overdo it? It’s just that I need to write a story that happened for almost 2 years in 7 chapters:  
> Breakup (April) – 5 months (September) – Congratulations – few weeks, + 5 months = March – Letting Go – the rest of the month were skipped – “the year has just started” (9 months passed) – I wait and Goodbye winter description – Waiting for midnight: February – end (20 months?)
> 
>  
> 
> So I can’t help but push through it because the scenes won’t just leave my mind; they just flowed in my head when I listened to Day6 (So when the certain song played, the scenes I used in this story were the exact scenes in my head while I’m riding a bus, listening to Day6)—and because of this, I can never listen to Habits the same way again. I used to really jam with it, moving a lot and dance to it, but now it has an emotional impact to me. If I did the same to you… Sorry. Haha.
> 
>  
> 
> So there you go. I never actually thought that many would like this and it made me so overwhelmed. Thank you so much for reading, enjoying, and crying with me (If u ever did)
> 
> -
> 
> HMU--
> 
> curiouscat : daelisix
> 
> Twitter: kohiiby
> 
> Tumblr: ahgaru
> 
> AFF: daesix
> 
> IG: snqxrt

**Author's Note:**

> Please share your thoughts :) Thank you :)


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